Loud Pipes Suck

I rode to work today, like usual, and scored a primo parking spot. I arrived before the Hardley Ableson who likes to park in that spot. Having parked my bike, I was leaving the parking garage on foot. He passed me riding his chrome monster.

Still high from the ride in, I acknowledged him with a nod. Instead of nodding, or waving, he replied by cracking open the throttle with that straight-piped beasty right next to my eardrums. In the parking garage. In other words, instead of saying "hello" he said "f*** you".

If I hadn't been late for a meeting, I'd have followed him to his parking spot and told him what I thought of his impotent chrome-crusted turd of a bike and his blatant disregard for my hearing.

But instead I swallowed my anger and went to work. My ears literally hurt for the next 30 minutes.

Wouldn't you know at the end of the day the same bastard is leaving work the same time as me, and cracks open the throttle of his straight-piped chrome-crusted turd again just as he passes me.


Maybe on his planet, eardrum damage is an acceptable greeting. On my planet, it is high treason.

Instead of enjoying my ride home I seethed with anger and thought of all sorts of things to do or say to this jackass.

I just had to get this off my chest. Hoping that writing about it would be cathartic.

Big Dog Motorcycles

This happens to me on a more or less weekly basis, since I've been riding.

Harley Headlight Modulator

Caging it today, headed home I wanted to change lanes, checked the mirror. Attention was drawn to a motorsickle with modulating headlight.

I didn't change lanes, and as he drew closer I saw that it was not a headlight modulator at all. It was a Harley. The modulation was caused by the vibration which shook the entire front end of the bike. It varied with his RPM.

Hmmmm ... I thought it was just a side-effect of the single-crankpin engine design. Now I see it's a safety feature!