I rode to work today, like usual, and scored a primo parking spot. I arrived before the Hardley Ableson who likes to park in that spot. Having parked my bike, I was leaving the parking garage on foot. He passed me riding his chrome monster.
Still high from the ride in, I acknowledged him with a nod. Instead of nodding, or waving, he replied by cracking open the throttle with that straight-piped beasty right next to my eardrums. In the parking garage. In other words, instead of saying "hello" he said "f*** you".
If I hadn't been late for a meeting, I'd have followed him to his parking spot and told him what I thought of his impotent chrome-crusted turd of a bike and his blatant disregard for my hearing.
But instead I swallowed my anger and went to work. My ears literally hurt for the next 30 minutes.
Wouldn't you know at the end of the day the same bastard is leaving work the same time as me, and cracks open the throttle of his straight-piped chrome-crusted turd again just as he passes me.
Maybe on his planet, eardrum damage is an acceptable greeting. On my planet, it is high treason.
Instead of enjoying my ride home I seethed with anger and thought of all sorts of things to do or say to this jackass.
I just had to get this off my chest. Hoping that writing about it would be cathartic.
If it makes you feel any better, he probably bought the thing with a
ReplyDeletehome equity loan, and when all is said and done he will have paid over $60,000 for the thing. So, ride comfortable in the knowledge that your bike is, if nothing else, worth what you paid for it.
Be nice to him, Ted: if he has to blip the throttle in a parking garage like that, he's probably just wondering when his bike will quit running entirely. You should offer to help him figure out why his $25,000 piece of ass jewelry is running on only two cylinders.
ReplyDeleteThat's beautiful! I hadn't thought of that approach. I like the mock sincerity of an offer of help as a retort to his rudeness. That's priceless!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. I am so sick of the sacred cow harleys in this area. My moron of a neighbor thinks it's ok to wake up the entire neighborhood at 2am with his POS. I also wonder what makes these morons think that other people want to hear their crappy bikes idle for a half hour in their yard?
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